The Germans

"The Germans"

by: J. Montgomery Spencer

"Heir General, something has been brought to my attention."
"What is it?"
"It is a cake, taken from one of the American prisoners."
"Ah, the spoils of war."
"It is a birthday cake from his family in Boston."
"Ja?"
"Ja."
"Are you going to eat the cake?"
"Nein Heir General. I was trying to make a point that the Americans have expended great amounts of manpower, time, and petrol to bring this cake over the Atlantic."
"So are you not going to eat the cake?"
"Nein Heir General. You see, the Americans have absolutely no concept of losing the war."
"Were there any more prisoners with cake?"
"Nein Heir General."
"Ah. I think I see where you are going with this. You plan to take only a small piece and give the cake back to the American prisoner."
"The prisoners were all shot this morning."
"Even the prisoner with the cake?"
"Ja."
"Now I understand shooting a cake-less man, but not one with a cake or some way to compensate us for the damage he has caused our campaign. War or no war. That is what I say."
"Getting back to the point I was making. By exploiting the cavalier use of resources of the enemy, we can chip away at their defenses until it becomes feasible for a grand counterattack. What do you think?"
"I think we should have the family of this American send over some more cake, enough for the whole Reich."
"You know, that is a much better idea than mine. Would you like some cake Heir General?"
"I thought you would never ask."
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Western Union

Dear Sir or Madam STOP
Tank Commander General Von Stube kindly requests that you continue sending cake to your son in France STOP
Who we shot not too long ago STOP
Your's truly The Germans STOP
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