scotch ad

Today’s active man. From dawn to dusk, he’s carrying the lionshare of American economic success. He’s superman in a suit and tie. His secret: Scotch.

A blended scotch at the breakfast table. It goes great with your eggs benedict. Takes the edge off of the morning paper editorial section. And lets the wife know, if she wants a fight, she’s got one.

At the office, a nip from that handle of bargain scotch in your bottom drawer moves the clock just a little faster. Or try it in your coffee in place of the normal high fat milk. Scotch, it’s the only non-dairy creamer for this announcer.

At lunch, order a single malt to show up that new upstart in marketing with his prissy appletini. Suggest to the boss that he try scotch instead of bourbon in his Old Fashion. The clean taste of scotch will really bring out the distinct flavor of bitters. And it lets your boss know that you’re no fancy lad.

Four in the afternoon, it’s tea time. Yeah, maybe at 10 Downing Street. But on Wall Street the same insolence that told the Brits to piss off, lives on in every glass of scotch, served clean or on the rocks.

Quitting time, the wife wants to know if you’re working late tonight. Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. That’s your business. Her meatloaf may sound mouth watering, but a couple drinks of scotch with that new colored secretary will really get you salivating. Maybe not the best move in the business world, but by this time in the day, you’re ripped out of your head, on scotch.

Gambling problem? Gambling is no problem for the businessman of today, because you know a house where to get a hundred dollar buy-in. They may not have a gaming license, but they do have real authentic Highland scotch which, tend to make the stakes quite high. There’s two aces showing on the river, you call "all in". Cards are down, and the winner, is scotch.

It’s getting near midnight, and another business day awaits. Better hurry home. No time to clean the cumstains off the backseat of the car. Another glass of scotch, and you’re on your way. What’s this? A thirty-five mile per hour construction zone. Fuck that shit. Slide over, and let scotch do the driving.

You stumble into your house waking the dog and maybe your wife. Time to cover your tracks. Hey, who moved that wall? Into the bathroom and your see you’re a mess. Good thing there’s some scotch under the sink. Scotch removes tough stains from your collar. Stains like blush, mascara, and the ultimate test of high end cordials, lipstick. Use a little scotch and musk to mask the smell of cigar smoke or low end perfume.

At last your day is at an end. And a scotch-n-soda make a great night cap. Worried about a hangover? Don’t be. There’ll be a big old scotch eye opener waiting for you in the morning. Time to slip into bed. With a point two five blood alcohol level, you’re still a little randy, but the wife’s not having any of it. Grit your teeth and bear it bitch, scotch wants to be on top.

And scotch is on top. All day long, scotch has been there. It’s been quite an exciting day, and you couldn’t have done it without scotch. Buy and consume scotch, wherever scotch is sold.